Being a parent is hard.
Being a student is hard.
Doing them together?
Absolute insanity!
I am part of the 4% minority of the MSA Class of 2025 that is going through the IAA program whilst being a parent. Juggling a toddler and school has been a remarkable journey; here are five truths I’ve learned along the way.
The FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is Strong.
The IAA class of 2025 is extremely social. Whether it’s pickleball, rock climbing, Friday beers, or watching the Bachelor, the social events are constant. Unfortunately, as a parent, I can attend about 1% of these events. This inability to attend leads to a strong sense of FOMO (fear of missing out).
Have you ever been grounded and heard how much fun your friends had at that concert you had to miss? Yeah, that’s how it feels.
Don’t get me wrong, I truly treasure every moment with my daughter, but I find it challenging to accept the loss of the freedom I once enjoyed.
The best advice is two-fold. First, be fully present in that 1% of social engagement outside of class; thinking about your to-do lists can wait. Second, make sure to fully utilize the time at the IAA to socialize and bond with classmates. You are there for 6-7 hours a day, make use of it!
The In-Person Format is Vital.
Being at a different stage of life than my younger IAA classmates, I was fearful of feeling isolated and disconnected. Within the first week at the IAA, my fears completely subsided. I have been able to talk, laugh, and connect with my classmates with ease. The in-person format spawns this connection.
Being physically present at the IAA helps me concentrate on my personal identity, rather than simply being defined as “a mom.” Being in the classroom, it’s impossible to do laundry or clean up all the toys that induce tripping and cursing. This allows me to disassociate with some of my mom duties, which is lovely!
The Library is Your Friend.
Doing schoolwork with CoComelon blasting and a screaming child in the background is detrimental to one’s sanity. No matter what room in the house I am in or what headphones I am using, I can still hear my daughter. It is too difficult to solely focus on schoolwork and resist multi-tasking when at home.
Thankfully, NC State has an amazing library (Hunt) just a quick walk away from the IAA. Hunt Library has many little, quiet nooks to go into full schoolwork mode. It is amazing how efficient one can be without having to constantly delve out Goldfish crackers. Forcing myself to go to the library when studying for a test or doing difficult assignments has paid off immensely both in my sanity and my grades.
The Guilt Is Constant.
If you ask 100 moms if ‘mom guilt’ exists, 99 of them will respond with an emphatic ‘YES’, and the other is probably asleep from exhaustion.
Mom guilt is real! It is a constant, nagging, internal voice telling you all the ways you are doing a bad job.
Giving your child instant mac-n-cheese? Mom guilt!
Keeping your kiddo in their pajamas all day? Mom guilt!
Having to leave your child who is crying for you to go to the library to study? Super mom guilt!
Making the decision to go back to school knowing I will miss time with my daughter gives me a fresh batch of guilt daily. This guilt can be intensified by feeling remorseful about the extra responsibilities my spouse has taken on to help me achieve my goal.
Guilt can eat you alive, if you let it.
So don’t let it.
Turn the guilt into motivation to finish strong!
Columnist: Erin Blake